Turns out, all those whispers about some extra help the Chiefs received during the big game?  Yeah, they weren’t just hot air.  After a thorough (and probably very expensive) investigation, the NFL has confirmed allegations of bribery and match-fixing.  Apparently, those “questionable” calls that went the Chiefs’ way weren’t just “lucky breaks” after all.  Who knew?

Details are still emerging, but sources (who definitely aren’t anonymous disgruntled Eagles fans, we swear) suggest that the Chiefs’ playbook included more than just complex offensive strategies.  Apparently, they also had a section dedicated to “Strategic Deployment of Large Sums of Cash to Influence Officiating.”  We’re picturing Mahomes handing out stacks of bills like he’s Oprah, yelling, “You get a touchdown!  And you get a touchdown! Everybody gets a touchdown!”

The NFL, in a statement that was probably written by a team of lawyers working overtime, expressed their “disappointment” and “utmost seriousness” regarding the situation.  They also mentioned something about “maintaining the integrity of the game,” which, let’s be honest, is a bit like a comedian talking about their “serious acting skills.”

The fine is so astronomical that the Chiefs might have to start a GoFundMe page.  Or, you know, maybe they could just sell some of those Super Bowl rings.  Mahomes probably has a few to spare.  He might even be willing to part with one for the right price.  (Asking for a friend.)

The Eagles, meanwhile, are reportedly demanding a rematch.  They’re also asking for a formal apology from the refs and a lifetime supply of Philly cheesesteaks.  Which, honestly, seems like a pretty reasonable request given the circumstances.

Stay tuned for more updates on this developing story.  And remember, folks, in the NFL, anything is possible.  Even the possibility that your favorite team might have won the Super Bowl by, you know, actually playing football.  Imagine that.